To hear some media outlets talk on Tuesday, one would have thought that the Apocalypse was closing on the world like Jaws on an innocent swimmer. Havoc, mayhem, hemorrhoids, male pattern baldness — just about everything imaginable was supposed to break loose yesterday as the Conficker worm came crawling out of its hole. Why, then, is Preparation H stock up a mere quarter-point and we all still have our hair?

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